Transfer Details

I was kicking myself that I hadn't figured out the right day for the new moon, which is actually today. Somehow, I screwed it up and thought it was Tuesday, the day of my transfer. The new moon is the special time that I am most fertile in my cycle. It has something to do with the phase of the moon when I was born. A big snow storm threatened for Tuesday, but it totally missed us and it turned out to be a lovely sunny spring day. A second storm is hitting us now. After months of drought and one piddly snowfall, we desperately need this. I intentionally kept my snow tires on my car in case we had to drive down to The Mall in a snow storm. So I guess I'm glad we didn't have our transfer today or tomorrow to avoid this nasty weather.

As you know, I'm not particularly fond of The Mall, my nickname for the BigShotFertilityClinic HQ. I enjoy it even less after our transfer, but I made the best of it. First, The Mall looks all mall-like in the hallways, but once you go in to get your blood drawn or to the "Surgery Center", it feels like a freaking hospital. With all the money they spent on this place, I would have picked a better interior decorator. First, calling the place where you get retrievals and transfers a "Surgery Center" is not all that comforting. It was nice to have everything brought to us in our special little transfer room, but the thing felt like a cave and a hospital room all rolled into one. I suppose I could pretend like the brown walls and the windows that were too high to look out of were like planting seeds in the soil, but I was so happy to get home to my own bed after laying on the hospital bed made for midgets for over an hour. I'm not that tall and my feet were hanging off the edge getting cold.

Dr. BloSunMyCha was a ray of sunshine, as usual, during the transfer. Even his sparkly white teeth radiated! It was surreal seeing the image of our embryos projected on the flat screen monitor. After a parade of nurses that came through when we initially arrived in our transfer room, they did finally leave us alone. I asked to wait to take the valium until we had talked with our doctor. Then, no one remembered to give it to me later. I'm glad I wasn't all doped up on valium, though I was open to taking it. I was a nervous wreck when I woke up. I was having palpatations in my acupuncturist's office that morning, but a half hour after the acupuncture, I was all calm and mellow again. After I told the doc I was fine after the acupuncture, it's like he didn't care if I took the valium. I guess they are used to their patients who do have acupuncture being calm. Passing on the valium allowed me to be present to my spirit_baby in the "earthy" transfer room. I was chanting away to Deva Premal's version of "Om Namo Bhagavate" in our hour of rest time after transfer, which I think of as the Divine Love song, sending divine love to the Snow Peas. I love the images someone put together in this YouTube video. This is what I was chanting:

Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya

The good news is that the Snow Peas thawed just fine. I was told the grading is different on frozen embryos. Ours had 80% cell survival. Anything above 70% is considered good. My first thought was, what happens to the other 20%? Since the cells are not differentiated at this point in the embryo, it's not like you lose an arm or a leg. Still, it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. Twenty percent sounds like a lot. I suppose the numbers don't really mean much on the big scheme of things. I'll try not to worry.

I loved the image from your last comments about seeds taking root. I will visualize that today when I'm sending implantation energy to our spirit_baby. It takes time for the little sprout to emerge from it's seed, just like the embryo has to hatch out of it's zona pellucida at the blastocyst stage. Although I'm "officially" done with bed rest, I think I'll go back to bed. Thanks for all your well wishes. It does raise my spirits.

At this point there doesn't seem to be much to do anymore, except continuing to send love to our spirit_baby. You know what I'll be chanting!