Hot and Bothered

The Hot Flash Queen, Mrs. Duck, is apparently correct. I assumed that hot flashes mean you are deficient in some kind of hormone, presumably estrogen. I never got my hormone levels when they drew my blood last week before my transfer. I just assumed that I didn't need to worry about numbers when I got the message that everything looked good. Apparently, I have enough estrogen to supply a support group for menopausal women for a month, by my meager calculations. My E2 was just about as high as it was for my IVF cycle, just shy of 2000. I think that's crazy, and if I end up not pregnant, I'm gonna have a hellava hormone crash.

My nurse confirmed with me that the hormone fluctuations are what cause the hot flashes. She didn't seem concerned about it, so why should I? Because I keep getting these AF-like cramps. What would cause the hormone fluctuations? Implantation? I don't know, but that's pretty late for implantation - 5 days after transfer? I think last time I implanted 4 days after transfer, from my symptoms.

So what did I do yesterday but walked to the store to buy some evil pee sticks. Of course I could not wait to try one. That's like buying a chocolate bar and not eating any of it for 4 days. And of course it came up negative in the middle of the day after I had just peed an hour earlier 5 days after transfer and quite possibly the same day as implantation (?). My internal brain was eating crow, as I know I have told many a woman who has done the same thing that it's too early! It's my 2ww and I'll pee on a stick if I want to!! I've also optimistically told many women that AF-like cramps can also mean you are pregnant. Apparently, that optimism does not extend to hormonal moi.

After that lovely POAS experience and the weeping that eventually ensued that night and this morning, I have sworn off the evil sticks...until Thursday morning. Nishkanu has a great post about peeing on sticks. I agree with her that one should not POAS until as close to beta as possible, as in the morning of, but I could not wait. Now that I have had the negative reinforcement shock therapy, I am not going to drive myself crazy for the next two days.

Here's a great story. I have a friend here who has been my cycle buddy. She did her transfer with DE at BigShotFertilityClinic a week before mine. She was peeing on some cheapo sticks she bought last year, and they kept coming up negative. To torture her more, she had to wait an extra day to get her beta because of our blizzard. When she tested negative yet again the day of her beta, she was sure she was not pregnant. Not only did her beta come back positive, but it's so high that we are sure she's pregnant with twins.

I hope that my rising hCG is inversely proportional to the height of snow in my backyard, which is melting quickly!