The 17th Karmapa is making his first visit to the United States at the young age of 22. I was pretty excited about this historic event, but I forgot to buy tickets as I was in the midst of all my pregnancy drama. The 17th Karmapa is on par with the Dalai Lama. I figure he rates more than the Dalai Lama since he's got three and a half more life times under his belt, but the Dalai Lama is more of an international spiritual rockstar than the Karmapa. Both are heads of their respective Tibetian Buddhism lineages, of which there are four.One day, I got a letter in the mail saying that all the tickets were sold out, but that since I'm a member of my local Shambhala Center, which happens to be part of the Kagyu lineage, the lineage that the Karmapa is the head of, they had a ticket for me. I went to get tickets with another space cadet friend of mine who had done the same thing as me.
We were at the last event of the day for the Karmapa, an address to all the local Buddhist communities who had helped bring the 17th Karmapa to the US for the first time. A few other Buddhist rockstars were in the house, like Pema Chodron (who could forget her book "When Things Fall Apart"?) and Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche. But it was the camaraderie of two of my closest friends who were there that mattered to me the most, one who I planned on sitting next to, and the other who unexpectedly ended up in the row behind me. These are friends who I have shared my story with and cried with.
The Karmapa's words were not what struck me the most. He had these piercing eyes. The audience reacted to his stare with laughter, because it looked kind of funny, but those eyes were clearly the gaze of someone with a lot of wisdom. When you have had 16 lifetimes, I guess you've been around the block a few times and learn a few things.
What touched me the most was the Karmapa's heart. He said that the love of his last incarnation, the 16th Karmapa, for America was what drove him to want to come to America. He said that because of his love for us, he persevered over his difficulties in coming to the United States. He said that he loved us, 2000 of his best friends? That was a pretty vulnerable thing to say to a bunch of people he never met before half way around the world from his home in a different language and different culture. I walked out of there feeling contented and peaceful, but I couldn't really say why. It was something about the Karmapa. It was his presence.
The next morning, I had a dream in which the Karmapa appeared to me. I haven't had a dream this clear in a long time that I have remembered. There is something about this person that is truly genuine. Something very selfless and compassionate about someone who has come back after 16 lifetimes of suffering to help his fellow human beings. And here he was coming to me. It made me pause and think about what is really important. It made me question my motivations for wanting to have children. I felt touched by grace.
