Unidentified Uterine Object

A lot has gone on in the last week. I've had my share of poking and prodding and it actually went ok, minus one mini meltdown. I'd pretty much had my fill of injections, detections, inspections, and neglections after the last IVF, so I wasn't in a big rush to have my body messed with for awhile. When I finally got around to getting my teeth cleaned by my sadistic super-anal dental hygienist, I was chastised for not having gone for 10 months. Needless to say, I did not elaborate on the infertility massacre with the four part harmony and the twenty seven three-by-four glossy ultrasound pictures with the circles and arrows and the paragraph on the back of each one. But I didn't come here to write about my dental health today.

I went to the big-shot fertility clinic yesterday to get more inspections, detections, and neglections. I got the ultrasound, the 3-D ultrasound, the uterine artery blood flow check, and the antral follicle count. I hadn't had three out of four of these last things for my last cycle at the "clinic-across-the-tracks", and it didn't seem to matter as neither my uterus nor my eggs were the problem. I passed the uterine-artery-blood-flow-whosiecallsit, failed the antral follicle count, though they were nice enough not to say it in those terms, and found a mystery blob in my uterus, though it's "so far away that it won't be a problem for pregnancy". So somewhere out there in the universe of my uterus is an Unidentified Uterine Object. The baby-faced Dr. G, who looks like he just graduated from college, couldn't tell me for sure if it was a fibroid or what. At least he gave me the same answer as Dr. W did two months ago and yesterday's ultrasound tech, who I think was also in the Class of 2008 along with Dr. G. It hasn't gotten any bigger in the last two months, so I guess I'll keep doing what I've been doing.

In defense of my ovaries, I'd like to clarify that I personally don't think I failed the antral follicle count. I'm 42, and I think seven is a very respectable resting follicle count for my age, thank you very much. Oh, they would want me to do a clomid-challenge-test for them, to which I'll probably reply something eloquent like, "up yours," or calmly point out that I think we have enough information about my ovaries after one clomid challange test, one IUI cycle with clomid, and two IVF cycles with different protocols. Besides, clomid makes me crazy, and you don't want to see me crazy do you??!! That's already caused enough problems.

Anyways, let's not put the cart before the horse, shall we? I still have frozen embryos that I need to decide what to do with. I won't be making any decisions before December 12th. That's the date I find out if the buyer for my house gets their loan, and the same date I have the reading with the baby psychic. Do not attempt to adjust your computer screen. You read that right. I'll be having a phone reading with Walter Maki.chen author of the book "Spirit Babies". I need specific information and I believe he can give it to me.