Sunday, October 18, 2009

The Process

Part of our decision to go ahead with trying with my eggs now is that we knew the whole donor egg process will take awhile. Part of the process is getting my family on board with egg donation, which I have not worked on yet. We knew we would have to wait until next year to try with donor eggs. If my family member were to agree to egg donation, we will have to fly her here for the work up, and then cycle, so we were well into next year.

I was really at a conflict about what do to. Magic surprised me with a seemingly logical solution. He said, let's try now. If it doesn't work, it will take time for us to recover before doing a cycle with donor eggs. We will also have to see where he is at with his job situation. He suggested that if he starts making a regular salary again, then we can try. If not, we would not try because we would not have the money. Having money be a barrier to having a child really sucks, but it is a reality. My motto is, if there is a will, there is a way.

I also kept thinking that if I was ever going to have a chance with my eggs again, this was it and BigShotClinic is THE place to do it. Hot flashes be damned, statistics be damned, we are going to give this our best shot. I have never thought of myself as "infertile". I'm just old and my husband had a vasectomy. We can overcome these things with the advances in technology. I just have a feeling that I've got a couple of good eggs in there still. As I told Dr. BloSun, we are not going to know what my embryos are like until they look at them in the lab. Last time I did IVF, the embryologist told me that she was surprised. My embryos looked like those of a woman 10 years younger than me. I am not someone who has been trying and trying on my own with my husband for a long time. He had a vasectomy that worked, so there is no chance of us getting pregnant doing it ourselves. I knew this when I married him, but I was naive at how intense IVF is. Even if you had a known fertile woman do IVF, there is no guarantee she will get pregnant.

I started having doubts about doing my cycle now. I've got this whole thing about having my transfer anywhere near the full moon. When I got my calendar, my estimated transfer is right between the new and full moon. I started to worry that I would be too near the full moon. I looked at the calendar, and thought a transfer in December would have been better. I started to beat myself up. Last weekend, it felt like December here, with snow and below freezing temperatures. I thought, I don't want to do an IVF cycle in that kind of weather so close to Christmas. If felt too stressful. Even though there is a good chance that I might be on bed rest or have my transfer on Thanksgiving, it feels right to do this now. On Wednesday, I read this post from Sheri's intuitive Tuesdays, and I knew I had picked the right time to do this (read my comment too). Later in the day, I read on IVF.Connections that BigShotClinic doesn't allow anyone to start stims after Dec 1st because of their shut down over the holidays, and I would have been out for December if I had waited another month to start my estrogen priming. To wait until January at my age is too risky to try with my eggs again. This is the right time for me to be doing this cycle. I can feel it!

Thank you so much for your support. I do not think I could go through these highly stressful fertility treatments without you gals.

It is time for me to ask of your help once again. I am looking for donations of any unused medications for our upcoming cycle. As much of the country has been impacted by the current financial crisis, so have we. My husband has not pulled in a regular salary in a year. My job is solid, but because I am a g-woman, I do not make enough to cover all of our expenses. We will be borrowing for this upcoming cycle anyway we can. If you have any of the following, I would really appreciate your help. I can pay for shipping and make a "donation" for your donation too!

Cetro.tide
Foll.istim, 900iu cartridges preferably
Men.opur
Viv.elle
Endo.metrin
Sai.zen

You can e-mail me at phoebephoenixtales@gmail.com for details.

Now, I'm off to make my juice.

14 comments:

zengirl said...

Hi Phoebe,

Thanks for dropping by my blog, and your well wishes for my arm. I tried the aloe/apple/ginger juice last night. Yucks! Aloe vera is sure slimy!

It's interesting that you're juicing for fertility. I believe in the goodness of juicing-Its got so much nutrients and enzymes! But unfortunately it's too cooling for my body. I went for a juice fast for 5 days to detox and I had the worst cramps! Now I don't even do any juices because it's too cooling for me and raw food takes too much of my chi to break down and digest. So I only do it if my doc okays it. However, I hope it's helping you in your journey to become pregnant. Hang in there! Every productive step takes you closer to your dream. And I agree - if there is a will, there is a way! I wish you all the best!

Jill M. said...

Wahoo for the right time!!! Wishing you success this cycle and that DE won't even be another thought!

Mad Hatter said...

Yay that the time is right for your new cycle and welcoming your spirit baby back home! I'm sorry I don't have any medication to send you, but I am sending you lots of love and good energy!!!
Love,
Maddy

Infertile In the City said...

This is it! It will work, it's all comming together, and I am happy to make you a wee little contribution ( I saw a free endo... what ever it is called - http://www.ivfconnections.net/board/showthread.php?t=128991

Can't wait to follow along for a great cycle.

DAVs said...

It does feel like a good time! I'm glad you feel it too.
Hopefully you'll get tons of med help!

Lost in Space said...

I think it is the perfect time for you to cycle. Sometimes it just pays off to fully go against the grain with everything and dive right in. Wishing you nothing but the best!

Sweet Georgia said...

I think it's the perfect time for you to cycle. I like your attitude towards your fertility as well (not infertile, just old etc). You're right, with today's science you can overcome it.

Wish i had meds that I could send you, but no such luck.

Hugs!

geeksinrome said...

I'm so glad you're doing this! and that things are falling into place.

no regrets, baby!

niobe said...

The timing does sound perfect.

Sheri said...

Phoebe -- I am SO excited for you and your decision to move forward.

Your hubby, Magic, sounds like a gem.

Can't wait to hear what's next in the process...

Beautiful Mess said...

I don't have any medication, but I can put a shout out on my blog for ya. Unless you'd rather me not. Email me and let me know!

Sending you SO much good JUJU for your cycle!
*HUGS*

B said...

Best wishes for this cycle.
B

A Mom in Jacksonville, FL said...

Visiting from Beautiful Mess. Sorry, I can't offer any help with the meds.

But---sending many well wishes for you and DH with this cycle!

MissMeliss said...

found you from a friend's blog... i wish i could help, but i don't have anything useful to donate!!

i will definitely keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

melissa
www.anothersinglemombychoice.blogspot.com