tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400986193010342577.post6642049231185734604..comments2023-04-02T03:12:23.266-06:00Comments on Tales of the Phoenix: Disturbance in the ForcePhoebehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07668069274859889749noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400986193010342577.post-8460314745237072792009-02-23T08:51:00.000-07:002009-02-23T08:51:00.000-07:00This post reminded me of some pre-natal meditation...This post reminded me of some pre-natal meditation work we did in which we were asked to "communicate" with the women in our family and ask them to spiritually be with us for the birth and to watch over us, offer us guidance. <BR/><BR/>As I pictured my mom and sisters and grandma, they were all happy to help out and my grandma was (like your mom) "You don't need any help. You'll be fine." <BR/><BR/>Which was not the response I wanted. In fact, it suddenly struck me that no one believed I needed any help. I lived my whole life being and appearing to be very independent, someone who is very together and resourceful and capable and has no need for the help of others. <BR/><BR/>I realized what a double-edged sword that was because while I benefited my whole life from being strong, it also meant I was completely alone in moments of doubt, fear and weakness. I was so scared and felt so alone (but felt that it was my fault for never showing my vulnerabilities in these other areas of my life -- but to my defence, I mostly never spilled my guts because I knew people would/could never help -- that blank stare you talk of! how i dread it!!) <BR/><BR/>anyway, from out of the blue a person I never expected appeared in my meditation and said very sincerely and calmly that he would be there; that he understood my situation and he would watch over me. I burst out crying and couldn’t stop even after the meditation was over. It was so beautiful that someone I least expected appeared and believed I really was scared and didn’t dismiss it as nonsense. <BR/><BR/>I think there will be/is someone out there who will be the rock you need. You don’t need an army or a cheering section, you need one person in whom you trust and believe in and who makes you believe in your instincts. <BR/><BR/>I think it’s a very good sign that communicating with your spirit baby is soothing. What matters is your relationship with the baby. While you will need people around you to create a calm, peaceful environment around you and the baby, it really does come down to just you and the child. That is all that matters, that bond, that love and that gaze. <BR/><BR/>Sweet Pea and I bonded so closely when I was surrounded by people who did nothing but criticize and judge me. We locked ourselves away and cried together. We share something very deep because of this understanding and because of the hard times we went through together. <BR/><BR/>It is not a given that just because your path to motherhood may be paved with thorns and tears that your relationship with your baby and your life as a parent will be doomed. Rather, I believe you will be a better stronger parent because of the sacrifices and deep awareness you are experiencing. <BR/><BR/>I believe in you Phoebe. Listen to your heart.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400986193010342577.post-29633198568683688072009-02-22T17:02:00.000-07:002009-02-22T17:02:00.000-07:00Thanks, Phoebe....I'm sorry you have found those a...Thanks, Phoebe....<BR/><BR/>I'm sorry you have found those around you to be less than supportive. I am always just a phone call away whenever you need me, wishing I could do more......... Hugs.Lost in Spacehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07027117135940864685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400986193010342577.post-20803839854711528542009-02-22T11:27:00.000-07:002009-02-22T11:27:00.000-07:00Thanks for reminding me, I was doing this and then...Thanks for reminding me, I was doing this and then stopped, and I think i need to go back to making that connection again, it too gives me such a feeling of peace.<BR/>Good luck with the hunt for a great shrink, they are hard to find, but they too are out there, somewhere.Nadinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08219960725085412879noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400986193010342577.post-24379646786853421612009-02-21T10:45:00.000-07:002009-02-21T10:45:00.000-07:00Oh, Phoebe, I so remember that sense of aloneness,...Oh, Phoebe, I so remember that sense of aloneness, of reaching out and not getting the response I so needed. Let me know if you want to get together to talk or whatever. I have a therapist friend in your neck of the woods. I'll ask if she knows of any good psychiatrists who deal with prenatal mood disorders...But do let me know if you want to get together or talk by phone or whatever. I'm here!Muser Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03619098935024377476noreply@blogger.com